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STRONG PARENTING IS NOT LOUDER…but giving the gift of honesty & clarity

Janet Lansbury
Family 360 podcast
presents Parenting episode 1: Janet Lansbury

Strong-willed children need…
-really capable leader, who:
-is opposite of
~yelling loudest
~most stern or harsh

really capable leader is:
-“of course you want that,
but, (cheerfully)
the answer is no”

Really capable leader is:
-“of course you want that,
but, (cheerfully)
the answer is no”

-“I’m not intimidated by you…
“not upset by you”

-stronger looks more
~not louder, not intense

Strongest-willed children…
-need strongest leader!
-they unconsciously are
testing for this
-their behavior looks bad,
but is a deep need

“They are constantly forcing
us into being the best
people we can be”

Limits are helping children…
-feel more comfortable
-let go of testing
-flourish in safety of our limits

“They won’t tell you
Thanks for the limits!”

Even when they cry…
-we should know that
“I’ve given them the gift of

“That is what love is”


No Bad Kids book:
-typical discipline techniques
do not work
-Kids’ job is to push limits
-as they struggle to
become more autonomous
-successful guidance provides:
~safety & comfort they need
to flourish
-when setting limits, the
emotional state of the
parent almost always
dictates the child’s reaction
-if we lack confidence
-or clarity
-are unsure or tentative
-or tense
~this will unsettle our kids
and lead to more
undesirable behavior
-at the core of my parenting:
~babies and children
are whole people
-natural learners & explorers
-able to understand
language & abstract ideas
-clinical research has now
confirmed this core

No Bad Kids book
Unruffled podcast